What are yours?
Here are 2 of mine:
"So Sting made number 1 in the [i]Smash Hits[/i] Most Fanciable Person poll. Well I was fifth, I beat David Bowie and Bob Geldof, and that's not bad for a drummer!"
(from L'Historia Bandido by Phil Sutdliffe)
"He's superior to me because I'm less humble than him... I'm an arrogant twat"
(from Police Around The World video)