Every little thing they did was magic

[BOB GRECO]

Every little thing they did was magic

July 1, 2007
BY RUMMANA HUSSAIN rhussain@suntimes.com
There were some rock groups I liked as a kid simply because they had cool videos or a fetching lead singer who looked good in tight leather pants.
And then there were the Police, who, in the words of a philosophical groupie in Cameron Crowe's "Almost Famous," I loved so much it hurt.

I wore out my plastic Toys R' Us record player spinning their punky reggae rock, covered my school locker with posters and heckled my junior high classmates who proclaimed Duran Duran a superior band.

I even memorized so many trivial facts about the Police -- like how they dyed their hair blonde for a chewing gum commercial and once opened for a redhead named Cherry Vanilla -- I can still recite them today like a totally '80s "Rain Man."

My undying passion for Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland, however, ignited too late. It was the mid-1980s, and they had pretty much broken up.

Distraught, I turned to God -- and stayed up on Lailat-Ul-Qadr, the night Muslims consider the most holiest and blessed, praying that I'd catch the Police live one day. Unfortunately, my mom, suspicious of my sudden religious fervor, made me take back what she thought was a blasphemous and silly request.

She didn't find my obsession with the Police particularly cute, especially since I asked her to sign a check I told her was for a subscription to National Geographic's World magazine when it really was for several back-ordered copies of Creem featuring the trio.

Now, more than two decades later, my mom can only smile when I gloat that God has finally come through.

I'm sure the giddy teeny-bopper in me will be screaming hysterically when I catch my first Police concert this week, but I admit I'm nervous.

• Maybe it's because I think it's a bad omen Copeland deemed the tour's opening gig "lame" around the same time Carlos Zambrano and Michael Barrett duked it out at Wrigley Field, where the Police are scheduled to play two shows.

• Maybe it's because I've grown into a frustrated music critic who knows too well how most overpriced reunion shows end up bloated, lukewarm spectacles of what once was.

• Or maybe it's because I'm afraid Sting will continue "experimenting" with his perfect pop songs by transforming them into New Age shmaltz veering more toward lounge Muzak than anything on the band's five studio albums.

I saw Sting one time in college in the early 1990s, deluding myself that it would be the next best thing to watching the Police. I should have been arrested for that thought. Minutes into the show, I was "sending out an S.O.S" as Sting belted out a saxophone-drenched "Roxanne" too lethargic for my taste.

I never saw Sting live again. Without Copeland and Summers, the "King of Pain" to me was more the king of pain in the ass.

It's a thrill to see Sting back with his old group. I just hope his "jazz hands" are tightly handcuffed behind his back. I'm not expecting the Police to mimic the songs exactly as they appeared on the albums or even tear the place apart like they did during their CBGB days, but I'll wince when they slow jam to "retooled" mellower versions of a few classics as they have done in recent shows across the country.

I'm not afraid to say it: I want vintage Police.

So guys, if you're reading this: Please stay true to your roots, rock that trademark sound and recapture the magic that moved this once dorky 13-year-old to scribble "The Police rule" all over her notebooks and classroom desks.

I'd really hate to tell her she was wrong.

[Rusty James]

[quote="BOB GRECO"]Every little thing they did was magic

July 1, 2007
BY RUMMANA HUSSAIN rhussain@suntimes.com
...I wore out my plastic Toys R' Us record player spinning their punky reggae rock, covered my school locker with posters and heckled my junior high classmates who proclaimed Duran Duran a superior band.
...I'm not afraid to say it: I want vintage Police.[/quote]

That Toys R' Us record player isn't the only thing stuck in the 80's.
Vintage Police isn't going to happen unless you are Homer Simpson and have access to a time machine.

[BinaryXtreme]

It's true. I once heard a wise man state it best, "the other ones are complete bullshit." I dig Duran but better than the Police? ROFL LMAO LOL!

[Jennythenipper]

I actually liked this article. I agreed with her on everything. And a had very similar fan experience to hers growing up (replace muslim with fundy Christian) She did not say that Duran Duran were superior. She said she heckled her friends for saying that.

I think she will not be disappointed at by this show. It is vintage police. I totally is. They are new arrangements, but they have the old police magic. They are not Stingified new agey arrangements. It would be interesting to see her follow up article.

[Divemistress of the Dark]

Yeah, cause they're going to be so good your ears will melt in Chicago.

Wow. I'm a little jealous. I'm kind of allergic to 50,000-person venues, though...I'm trying to stick to the smaller markets. I'll probably do one of the New York gigs this year sometime, though.

[Jennythenipper]

[quote="Divemistress of the Dark"]Yeah, cause they're going to be so good your ears will melt in Chicago.

Wow. I'm a little jealous. I'm kind of allergic to 50,000-person venues, though...I'm trying to stick to the smaller markets. I'll probably do one of the New York gigs this year sometime, though.[/quote]

Yeah, but Wrigley is outside. There is something so awesome about an outside gig on a hot summer night. I saw U2 outside (in Madison, WI) and it was great. Just like a big picnic with a giant rotating lemon (yes, it was the unfortunate Pop Mart Tour).

I more than somewhat jealous. I'll go on record as totally jealous.

Hey Divemistress, what are the 'small market gigs," for my future planning reference?

[Three over Four]

The reflex, fle-fle-fle-fle-flex!

Duran Duran = 80's

Police = TIMELESS

[DirtyMartini]

[quote="Three over Four"]The reflex, fle-fle-fle-fle-flex![/quote]

SON OF A BITCH!!! THAT had to be the last thing I see before going to bed?!?

You suck, 3/4. Now I'm never getting to sleep.

[Three over Four]

You gone too far this time
But Im dancing on the valentine
I tell you somebodys fooling around -
With my chances on the dangerline
Ill cross that bridge when I find it
Another day to make my stand, oh..
High time is no time for deciding
If I should find a helping hand, oh..

DUCKS....

You know, I *could* have done some Phil Collins....

[DirtyMartini]

Such an asshole, 3/4. Took me an hour to get that stupid song out of my brain.

[Jennythenipper]

I emailed Rummana yesterday with my review of the Minneapolis show. She kindly emailed me back and then she sent me this email, late last night:

"They rocked!!!! I nearly lost my voice screaming!"

So it appears that one member of the press gets it!

[Grant]

Creem magazine really was the shiznit wasn't it?

I remember reading the first article about the Police in Creem
where the writer (J Kordosh?) said "The Police is the best
band I've seen in years." or somesuch.

Creem led me towards R.E.M., the Meat Puppets (who I saw
in May and they rocked), Eugene Chadbourne (or maybe
that was Option.)

Anyhow I saw they reincarnated a few years ago but I haven't
looked in a while.

[Jennythenipper]

[quote="Grant"]Creem magazine really was the shiznit wasn't it?

I remember reading the first article about the Police in Creem
where the writer (J Kordosh?) said "The Police is the best
band I've seen in years." or somesuch.

Creem led me towards R.E.M., the Meat Puppets (who I saw
in May and they rocked), Eugene Chadbourne (or maybe
that was Option.)

Anyhow I saw they reincarnated a few years ago but I haven't
looked in a while.[/quote]

Creem was great because it had a harder edge but wasn't totally devoted to metal. It had a good mix of pop, rock and alt. And yet, so much more palatable than rolling stone. Loved that mag.