I knew it. Sorry Sting

[alex]

Hilarious, especially the fake quotes from Srewart, Andy and Trudie

http://www.thedailyrash.com/sting-admit ... th-himself

[smax]

it's funny 'cos it's true.

[ladyhawke]

lol snax and alex but i like him to lol

[TheEqualizer]

Fake quotes?

[TheEqualizer]

QUOTE
Sting Admits to Decades Long Affair with Himself
By Mark Donahue
LOS ANGELES – International rock star and celebrity Gordon Sumner, known around the world as Sting, admitted on the Tyra Banks Show that for the past twenty-five years he’s been having an affair with himself.

Audience members gasped, some even running from the studio holding their stomachs. One woman said that she found herself questioning the meaning of life. Many others rallied behind the disgraced rock star and vowed to help him through his addiction to himself. Tyra Banks confessed that she too has suffered from self love.

“Sometimes to the point of wanting to run away with myself to another country, buy a small house with a garden and live happily ever-after. But then the phone rings or there is gunfire outside and I snap out of the fantasy and move on with my life.”

When asked about Sting’s admission of a decades long affair with himself, Tyra put her hands up in front of her and began backing away.

“I ain’t goin’ there! Huh-uh! Not this hot babe with some extra baggage, no sir! Now you just git along with your bad self!”

For years there have been rumors about why The Police disbanded. Many have wondered if indeed there was a “Yoko” in the life of one of the three members that led to the band’s dissolution. But with no visible evidence skeptics lost interest and only a few die-hard conspiracy theorists continued to investigate.

“I knew there was a monkey wrench thrown in the mix somewhere, but I just couldn’t put the pieces together,” said Ronnie Blackburn of Lafayette, Indiana. Ronnie began researching the demise of The Police in 1985. Without any solid evidence he was labeled a lunatic by his family and friends. Since February of 1994 he’s been homeless and battling drug and pornography addictions.

“When I heard that Sting professed his love for himself on the Tyra Banks show, I knew that there was hope for me. I believe I can be free of my drug addictions by the end of the year and with help from God I might be able to kick the porn addiction at some point too!”

Several days after Sting’s announcement, Police drummer Stewart Copeland and guitarist Andy Summers appeared on CNN’s the Joy Behar show.

“It’s been so troubling all these years,” Copeland confessed. “When I heard Sting on the Tyra Banks Show last week I was so relieved! I’ve been harboring this secret for so many years!”

He paused to wipe tears from his eyes.

“It got to the point that I couldn’t even be around Sting if he was with himself. Sure, we were all cordial and stuff, but trying to work while he was giggling and whispering to himself was very taxing. The lovey eyes, the extended and noisy trips to the loo, I mean, when he sat in that little chair, which was barely large enough for one person, cuddling himself while we were trying to mix our record, it just got to be too much. I resorted to dubbing my drum parts when they weren’t around.”

Guitarist Andy Summers recalled the last days of the band.

“It was getting to be a pretty bumpy ride in the studio. Sting always arrived late when he was with himself. He’d give us the heartfelt excuses and apologies…but then the giggling would start. Then we’d have to deal with the ventures to the loo, which would sometimes last for over an hour. We’d sit in the studio pretending not to hear the passionate panting and moaning. The engineers had to boost the volume when there were guests in the studio. The moment when it all came crashing down for me was when I realized that Sting had written Every Breath You Take to himself.”

The day after the Tyra Banks Show taping, Sting admitted himself into the Betty Ford Narcissism Rehab unit in Omaha, Nebraska. Sources close to his family say that he has not looked at himself for over three days. They have also said that his two cell phones have been turned off and that all other means of communications between Sting and himself are being monitored. The Daily Rash tried to contact his wife Trudy, but a close source says that she has gone into seclusion.

“Trudy was the only one aware of the fact that Sting’s tales of eight hour Tantric Sex orgies were with himself. Trudy was always home by herself when they took place. She is happy that she can now find closure from the humiliation of having to lie to her girlfriends about the marathon sex romps she was supposed to be having with her famous husband. She is now holding out hope that the third wheel in the relationship is gone… and that just she and Sting can at some point live happily ever-after.”

END QUOTE

[georgygirl]

Well, is always like this with some people feeling the same way Sting did- (everybody could feel that way for less).

But it does´nt really matter to me bacause Stewart with Sting and Andy made awesome music as The Police!

Fiuuuuuuu!

[jeffseitz]

HILARIOUS!

[drummike]

"noisy trips to the loo" - LOL. I can't laugh too much, though. The man did write many of my favorite songs.

[policerule]

Trying to picture Sting "giggling" to himself.

Nice one, Alex

[jeffseitz]

[quote="drummike"]"noisy trips to the loo" - LOL. I can't laugh too much, though. The man did write many of my favorite songs.[/quote]

Come on Mike, are you sure it was him and not his lover! LOL

[drummike]

[quote="jeffseitz"]

Come on Mike, are you sure it was him and not his lover! LOL[/quote]

Who can tell? They look so much alike, it could be the same person, lol.

Perhaps some intense therapy ala Freud or Jung would help him end his love affair with himself.

[mairinpgh]

LOL the fake quote from Himself: "I mean, when he sat in that little chair, which was barely large enough for one person, cuddling himself while we were trying to mix our record, it just got to be too much. I resorted to dubbing my drum parts when they weren’t around.”

[alex]

“I knew there was a monkey wrench thrown in the mix somewhere, but I just couldn’t put the pieces together,” said Ronnie Blackburn of Lafayette, Indiana. Ronnie began researching the demise of The Police in 1985. Without any solid evidence he was labeled a lunatic by his family and friends. Since February of 1994 he’s been homeless and battling drug and pornography addictions.

“When I heard that Sting professed his love for himself on the Tyra Banks show, I knew that there was hope for me. I believe I can be free of my drug addictions by the end of the year and with help from God I might be able to kick the porn addiction at some point too!”

Totally my favorite part of the article. I must add that I'm shocked that no one has come done hard on me with some very funny jokes about my spelling mistake in the first post. If you did it, I would have been all over you, hahahah.

[Lord Byron]

Hilarious, especially the fake quotes from Srewart, Andy and Trudie

http://www.thedailyrash.com/sting-admit ... th-himself