I wish to hell I weren't completely retarded when it comes to things like this.
Now, I can draw a portrait and it'll look just like you. Following the beat, tho? Geez, you'll follow me right off a cliff.
(OK, OK. I can play the bass. A little. And I have a really sweet Rickenbacker 325, plus another 325 from the JL series... Oh, and a cherry-red Gibson ES335...)