I Had a Mid-life Crisis and Brought the Kids!

[DirtyMartini]

[quote]Ahhhhh cellphones. Now I know how we did it, when there weren't any....... We did not.
A lot of things went wrong and there was a lot more stress![/quote]

Yup. I once had a similar situation as Daddy-O and Sportarella when a bus catastrophe rerouted and delayed just about all passengers in Pennsylvania.

Really happy to hear that you had a cool counter person on your side, llady. She sounds like good people.

Thanks for the new episodes, llady.

[luddite lady]

Part 12
My dad really does have a thing for martyrs. In fact, he likes to play the part of one quite often. That Saturday afternoon was no exception. He and Sporterella had got very little sleep during their horrendous bus ride. It was obvious that they both needed a good long rest before either of them could think of going to shrines or concerts.
As we arrived at the motel, Daddy-o sighed, "Ah well. I came close to getting there. Was that the Mohawk River we crossed over in the car just now? The shrine is on the shores of that river. I can take comfort in knowing that I at least saw the waters of the river."
My sister and I shared a moment of eye-rolling before we took on a tag team approach to convince our father that it would be all right to visit the shrine on Sunday and stay an extra day. Since my next Police gig wasn't until Monday at Jones Beach, we could leave for Long Island Sunday evening after our pilgrimage. Sis' and Daddy-o could then return to Toronto on Monday. You'd think we were staying at the Waldorf by the way my dad went on about the expense of staying an extra night at the motel. At this point though my sister and I were so determined to get our dad to the flipping shrine that we would have paid five star hotel rates and I would have even skipped a concert or two. At last he agreed to stay one more day as our treat.
"Oh my! How you spoil me!" he remarked.
Once our shrine visit was settled and the two weary travellers were tucked in for their naps, the rest of us went in search of a computer and some bandwidth. A few days before our trip, I had entered the contest for the Costello/Police taping at The Apollo in New York. The winning contestants were being notified by e-mail on August 1. This was now August 2 and I was burning to find out if I had won. Part of me was hoping that I had not won a ticket since I still hadn't a clue what I would do with my three kids during the taping. When I entered the contest I was in full teenager mode and I had sort of forgotten that I had children. We ended up in the Schenectady public library where I was allowed to log on to a computer as a visitor. I soon discovered that I had not won a ticket to the taping, which made me one of the most relieved losers in contest history. Next, of course, I had to spend a bit of time at sc.net. My sister got to see my kopelandik addiction first hand. Dancerina began to grumble until I reminded her that I was going to be spending that evening at a Jonas Brother concert. This little shot of sc.net was like the vaccinations people get before travelling to exotic and treacherous lands. There was a chance that I wouldn't survive the night without taking this preventative measure.
Just then The Boy alerted me to a young man seated a few computers away from us. It was one of the drunken gate jumpers from the show the night before. He looked over at us and in rapid succession his face displayed recognition, then dim remembrance and lastly outright embarassment. His gaze quickly returned to his computer screen. I was actually impressed with his rebounding skills that allowed him to be upright, in a library doing something intelligible the afternoon following his concert of debauchery. I was also amused that this fellow now thinks that the Ancient Oracle of Saratoga lives in his hometown of Schenectady and that he could bump into me again anytime.

[luddite lady]

Part 13
After some rest and sustenance, Sporterella was ready to go to the Avril Lavigne/Jonas Brother concert. Based on our experience from the day before, I knew we had to get there early to avoid outrageous traffic going into the park. My kids and I left Daddy-o in my sister's capable hands and headed out. When I had bought the tickets, Dancerina and Sporterella weren't crazy about the lawn seats I was offering them, so they paid me the difference to upgrade their tickets to real seats with numbers and everything under the shelter of the SPAC's roof. At the time of purchase, these were Avril Lavigne tickets. I'm not a huge fan, but her tunes are kind of catchy and she's got an edgy attitude that I rather admire in an otherwise Disneyfied world of youth pop culture. Having said that, you can imagine my disappointment when the people at LiveNation and Ticketmaster morphed the concert into a Jonas Brother show with Avril as the opening act. The Boy was even less impressed. My daughters, however, were slowly coming out of the closet and revealing themselves as major Jonas Brother fans. At home they had made fun of the Bro's and showed interest in going to their concert only to see if "they were as lame in person as they are on TV." Now, far from my lawyer and will, where they were safe from being written out of their inheritance, the girls' conversation was all about Nick, Joe and Kevin. Can you imagine spending large amounts of time talking about three guys in a rock band? Silly kids, eh?
The SPAC was an insane sea of pre-teens, teens and their mothers. The ratio of females to males was easily ten to one. The Boy says he now knows what hell looks like. My daughters went to their assigned seats while The Boy and I stuck to the lawn. The crowds there were even larger than the night before and much more territorial about their little patch of lawn. Fortunately, we didn't much care if we saw the show. We went way up on the flat area above the amphitheatre's bowl and were content to lay on our green tarp, listen to Avril and discuss highlights of The Police gig from the night before. After the opening act, a fair number of unhappy girls in Avril Lavigne T shirts made a point of walking out of the concert in protest. The Boy and I joined them. We waited for my daughters just outside the SPAC's gates. The Jonas Brother concert was very loud. We didn't hear much music though, just a lot of female squealing. The show seemed to go on forever, but finally Dancerina and Sporterella emerged from the venue floating on a Jonas Brother high. The one bright spot of the evening was that they knew they owed me for my indulgence and that I would no doubt ask for payback sometime in the coming week. And I was happpy in the knowledge that the rest of the trip was going to be all about the Police. Well, aside from the shrine visit, that is.

[IndyGirl]

Thanks for the good lunch time read, LL.

[DirtyMartini]

[quote="luddite lady"]At the time of purchase, these were Avril Lavigne tickets. I'm not a huge fan, but her tunes are kind of catchy and she's got an edgy attitude that I rather admire in an otherwise Disneyfied world of youth pop culture. Having said that, you can imagine my disappointment when the people at LiveNation and Ticketmaster morphed the concert into a Jonas Brother show with Avril as the opening act. [/quote]

They changed the event after the tickets were sold?

[policerule]

[quote]I managed to squeeze in right behind him while doing my best distressed mother imitation. "Oh my, there you are! Oh my goodness! Excuse me I'm trying to get to my son down there. He's only nine. I'm here, honey. Don't worry. I'm coming."[quote]


I'm so behind, but nice one. Makes me wanna have kids.

[smudge]

[quote="policerule"][quote]I managed to squeeze in right behind him while doing my best distressed mother imitation. "Oh my, there you are! Oh my goodness! Excuse me I'm trying to get to my son down there. He's only nine. I'm here, honey. Don't worry. I'm coming."[quote]


I'm so behind, but nice one. Makes me wanna have kids.[/quote]

You need to catch up PRule. I'm pretty sure the Jonas Brothers episode will cure you of that!

LL you are excelling yourself m'dear. I'm loving this tale - and really can't wait for the shrine visit

[luddite lady]

[quote="DirtyMartini"][quote="luddite lady"]At the time of purchase, these were Avril Lavigne tickets. I'm not a huge fan, but her tunes are kind of catchy and she's got an edgy attitude that I rather admire in an otherwise Disneyfied world of youth pop culture. Having said that, you can imagine my disappointment when the people at LiveNation and Ticketmaster morphed the concert into a Jonas Brother show with Avril as the opening act. [/quote]

They changed the event after the tickets were sold?[/quote]

Yup! I found out about this bait and switch around the same time that Ticketmaster was playing musical chairs with our seats for MSG. I was one unhappy camper. I raged about it a lot on this site. You likely missed my rants because I believe it happened when you were showing the green love and getting the rank glove in Belfast.

[English-lion]

Can't wait to read more

Write LL write

[Maud138]

I'm still reading LL!

[luddite lady]

Part 14
After the concert we took the long walk to the car yet again. My daughters, as is their habit, had slithered quickly through the crowds, leaving me and The Boy a fair way behind. I wanted to tell them to slow down before they were out of ear shot. When they're together like that I rarely call them by name, opting instead for the collective "girls". So, I bellowed "Girls!" out across the moving crowd. About fifteen or twenty people in front of me, all fitting the description of "girls", turned and looked at me simultaneously. Of course my daughters weren't among them. They just kept walking.
I found myself saying in the same loud voice, "Sorry, not you...um...girls. I meant those girls...um...that I'm related to..."
I'm not sure if I've ever felt like a bigger dork.
When we got back to the motel we popped into my Dad's room. He was asleep, but my sister was awake and she immediately handed me a cold beer.
"After the last few days that you've endured, you deserve this more than anyone."
I didn't argue with her on that account. And, man, did that beer taste great. I don't even know what it was. I think I would have enjoyed soap suds in cold brown water at that point. Because I'm always driving or about to be driving my kids to various activities, I rarely drink. A six pack will last me the whole holiday season. As I drank the lovely brew, I realized that the last time I had a beer was back in Buffalo in May, right after my stint as flag-bearer. Starting with this beer, I made up for my long abstinence from the frothy stuff throughout the rest of the week.

[luddite lady]

Part 15
The next morning arrived and it was time to go to the shrine. Hurray! I knew right from the outset of this plan that my rental car did not have the capacity to carry all of us there. This had not occurred to my dad, however, and he felt just awful when he realized that we'd have to leave the kids behind at the motel. My children were delighted with this development, but tried not to show their glee too much in front of Grandpa. Rather than going to the shrine, they'd be locked up in a truly scuzzy motel room, taking in a "Punk'd" marathon on MTV. I even left them with money to order in lunch from the pizza joint down the street.
I bet my Mom and my sainted Irish grandmother were looking down at me from heaven then, shaking their heads and moaning, "I knew we'd have trouble wid dis one!"
"What sort of Catholic mot'er is she, now? Dere'll be no more priest comin' from dis family, I do fear!"
I donned the only non-green outfit that I had in my suit case and we were off. Daddy-o, Sis' and I arrived at the shrine after a brief but lovely car ride along the Mohawk river. The shrine grounds are on top of a hill that offers a really splendid view of the surrounding countryside. My dad was just beaming as we shuffled about the site, learning more about his favorite saints and spending time in the quiet, near empty church.
For a more detailed account of our visit, go to the other sc.net that I frequent, shrinechat.net. I go by the handle lourdes lady there. Ah, the fun we have on that website! (In case you're not sure...yeah, I'm now just being facetious and sacrilegious all at the same time.)
When we got back to Schenectady later that afternoon, my dad was truly happy. My kids were happy after being allowed to wallow in kid styled decadence all day. And my sister and I were happy to see everybody else happy. Mission accomplished.

[Schmaffy]

[quote="luddite lady"]For a more detailed account of our visit, go to the other sc.net that I frequent, shrinechat.net. I go by the handle lourdes lady there.[/quote]

**snort**

[luddite lady]

You have no idea how guilty I feel about leaving my whole family narratively stranded in Schenectady for two and half months. Though, if you’ve ever been to Schenectady, you may have some notion of the depth of my shame. Anyhow, with some time on my hands and filled with Christmas spirits of both varieties, I resume my summertime tale. I hope you enjoy it as my little present to Copelandia and not take it as a lump of coal in a stocking.

Part 16
It was late afternoon when we took our leave of Daddy-o and Sis’. We had a reservation for that evening in a Long Island hotel and many miles between to travel. I felt okay about leaving those two carless for a day. The bus terminal, Catholic church and a few decent restaurants were all within easy walking distance of the motel and in the nice part of town. My motel was like the gateway to the scuzzy-side of Schenectady. If you went one way on the street, things deteriorated rather rapidly. In the other direction, things improved at the same rate. Fortunately, all the necessities were located in the right direction.
It was funny getting the three kids all packed up again. After all the MTV and pop, chips and pizza, they had really made themselves at home in this lousy motel. The room truly looked like it had been inhabited by some second-rate rock band on tour. Could a Mom be any more proud? Taking my cue from the film Everyone Stares, I played the part of Kim Turner and started telling the kids who’s boss of this operation and how they had to get their acts together straight away. Do you remember the scene of Kim driving the van and the one of him jokingly telling Andy off in the elevator? My scene was a sort of a combination of those two, minus the English accent and the swearing (well, mostly minus the swearing).
After a quick goodbye, a long drive and some killer traffic in Harlem and Queens, we arrived at our hotel in Hicksville, Long Island around ten thirty at night. I learned the hard way to never again arrive in New York City via the weekend vacation country on a Sunday evening in summer. It was like the whole town was returning from some mass evacuation. The hotel, which Laurie (CG5) had recommended to me, was quite a step up from the last place. The kids were thrilled by the mini-fridge, microwave and wide assortment of cable stations, all of which they checked out immediately.
I went down to the front desk to see if Laurie was indeed at this hotel. I have a horror story about trying to find some Nutters in an Ottawa hotel when all I had to work with was first names and bizarre user names. This time I confidently went up to the front desk armed with a first and last name, an idea of what the person looked like and a fairly good idea that she was booked into this place. My confidence vanished when the guy at the desk wouldn’t believe that Laurie’s last name was real. Sure, it isn’t Smith or Jones, but it isn’t inconceivable that one would have this last name. He had me doubting myself though. I started mumbling how I’ve never really met her and we’ve communicated by e-mail and how I don’t know why she would make up her last name. Finally, I asked the guy to just check on his computer.
“Wow! Well, I’ll be danged! There she is! Would you like me to call her room?”
I was mindful that at this hour she and many a faithful Nutter were attending the Holmdel show. So I replied, “Oh, no thanks. She’s at a concert in New Jersey right now. I’ll check up on her tomorrow.”
Man, was that dude confused. One moment I’m not sure of the person’s name and the next I’m telling him her exact location at that very moment.
When I went back to my room I tried the Kim Turner routine on my kids again.
“Come on, everybody, off to bed. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow. We’ve got a concert in the evening and I want to get down there during the day to check out where the venue is and all that.”
However, my kids were quick to remind me that they were not attending the Jones Beach show. I’d be going solo for this one. So, I went to bed while they stayed up until who knows when watching High School Musical or My Sweet Sixteen or something equally un-educational.

[Maud138]

Ohhh LL, I love this story. You made me laugh out loud, again! Please finish this!