Aw, you could do A LOT worse than Stewart. I admit to a crush on Henry Rollins...long story. Married, not dead, yadda yadda.
Now, *really* embarrassing might be Clay Aiken, or that one long haired guy on 'Days of Our Lives'...
And whaddayamean, useless at real life? You're here, aren't you? With all the cool people?
(I guess I was thinking of 'Big Stew' as the one with the priceless expression. Hell, I'd use that for my Xmas card, if I were him.
)