by bella on 11 Mar 2009 16:23
Jen, you are so right, but I'm a big wussy, scared to make that change, take that leap of faith....in myself.
Dive, thanks for the crossing of all fingers. Whew, I feel much better just having gotten this out and then even the blubbering to our NP. I usually have a hard exterior at work, so I know he was caught off guard. yikes.
One good thing, though. I did just pay off my car Friday, so that's one payment down, two to go. If I didn't have credit card payments (which aren't much compared to some, but still enough to worry me) I wouldn't be as worried. It's my goal this year to pay them off, at least within the next 15 months. Just getting all these concert updates from pollstar doesn't even thrill me. My perspective has completely shifted knowing that my job could be on the line.
I'm also kicking myself for not having gone back to school full time a long time ago. I could have been done by now. I have an associates degree in commercial art, but can't do poopy with that because right after I graduated (centuries ago) the world of design became computer based and my schooling was all old school with one primitive computer graphics class thrown in for good measure. I just never had the drive to work full time and go to school full time. I've taken one computer graphics class a couple years ago, but that's it. Always afraid to get a school loan, because for some reason they think I'm rich enough to not need financial aid, and I am scared of having that to pay off. I mean how do you do that? Anyone who has? How do you work full time and go to school full time? Or can you live on school loans and work part time? I'd do it if I knew it were possible. I guess I just need to actually speak to someone in financial aid and ask for help instead of trying to figure everything out on my own.
okay, now I'm just rambling, but I gotta say, it's good to get this out of my system.
~none of my pleasures are guilty~ me