Have a fun and safe CD-Signing / Krazy Fest, STEWART!!!
Posted: 16 Aug 2007 13:07
Hope you have a great time at the Guitar Center and sell many many CDs -- but be careful out there tonight, Stewart. It is indeed a jungle. Some pointers to keep in mind:
* Don't park on Sunset. You will be towed.
* Always open the Sharpies pointed away from you and never ever inhale.
* After all of the recent Police Pampering, it's possible that you may have forgotten: you write with your left.
* Have your taster test all food and drink handed to you from an unknown source. Then throw it out anyway.
* Be ever mindful of those gesticulations of yours. You've got work in a couple of weeks.
* Be prepared for a couple of drive-by CHAings. They are pesty but harmless.
* Avoid eye contact. It only encourages them.
* If the question of whether or not one can have too many colossal symphonic gongs arises, the answer is always "No."
* Remember that LueAnnes come in all shapes and sizes, so be on your guard of anyone who mentions "Cleveland." Unless that person is OutlandoGirl. Or especially if that person is OutlandoGirl.
* Be especially kind to -- but cautious of -- the ones wearing tube socks in August. They are The Afflicted and require special handling.
* Kindly avoid being on fire.
* If it walks like an asshat and talks like an asshat, then it certainly cannot be one of us.
* Know that none of us will think any less of you if you RUN!!!
Congrats again on the new release, Stewart.
Hope everyone has a great time tonight!
* Don't park on Sunset. You will be towed.
* Always open the Sharpies pointed away from you and never ever inhale.
* After all of the recent Police Pampering, it's possible that you may have forgotten: you write with your left.
* Have your taster test all food and drink handed to you from an unknown source. Then throw it out anyway.
* Be ever mindful of those gesticulations of yours. You've got work in a couple of weeks.
* Be prepared for a couple of drive-by CHAings. They are pesty but harmless.
* Avoid eye contact. It only encourages them.
* If the question of whether or not one can have too many colossal symphonic gongs arises, the answer is always "No."
* Remember that LueAnnes come in all shapes and sizes, so be on your guard of anyone who mentions "Cleveland." Unless that person is OutlandoGirl. Or especially if that person is OutlandoGirl.
* Be especially kind to -- but cautious of -- the ones wearing tube socks in August. They are The Afflicted and require special handling.
* Kindly avoid being on fire.
* If it walks like an asshat and talks like an asshat, then it certainly cannot be one of us.
* Know that none of us will think any less of you if you RUN!!!
Congrats again on the new release, Stewart.
Hope everyone has a great time tonight!