STEWART COPELAND

10. What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?


Sounds like Stewart to me!!!

How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.

How do you slow a drummer down? Put sheet music in front of 'em...

How do you slow a drummer down even more? put notes on it...

bah-doom-cha!

[quote]10. What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?
[/quote]

Jackie for me this one is cool

Q:How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:100 - 1 to hold the light bulb and 99 to drink until the room spins.

though I prefer this one:

Q:How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:Just 1 - He stands there holding it up while the world revolves around him.

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?
No.

Neither did I.

... well I heard about the drummer that went to college, anyone else?

"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."

Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?
A: His personality!

What do Ginger Baker and 7-11 coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.

"Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a drummer."
His mother scoffs and replies...

"Well, you can't do both."

What has three legs and an a**hole on top? A drum throne.

How do you get a drummer off your front porch? Pay for the Pizza.

Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

A: Drool.

how do you know that a drummer is knocking at your door?
the knocking gets faster...

Drummer's rejoinder: How do you know when a lead singer is at the door? He doesn't know when to come in...

rat-ta-ta-ta...

Make some room for me while I make you a gift of the two greatest drummer jokes...ever! + one so-so one.



Start with the so so...
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.


Now....

How can you tell if the drum riser is level?

The drool Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth!


And (roll please),

Why do drummers keep a pair of drumsticks on the dashboard of the car?

...So they can park in the handicapped spot!


-doug.bro

Bonus...

How many Deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?

They just follow it around 'till it burns out.

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the instructions once into a drum machine

One day, a drummer had enough of the endless drummer jokes and slagging so he decided to become a guitarist so he reads up about guitars and goes to the shops and asks for a marshall stack and paul reed smith guitar and some mxr effects. The guy in the shop said 'youre a drummer, arent you?' and the drummer says 'damn! how did you know?', he replied 'This is a chip shop.'


Another drummer is getting into a taxi one day. The taxi driver said 'I heard this great joke today..' and proceeded to tell the above joke. About half way through the drummer in the back said 'Excuse me but I am a drummer!' and the taxi driver said 'Oh sorry..Ill speak sloooowly then.'


Non drummer joke:

Whats the difference between a cow and the James Last Orchestra?

One has the horns at the front and the arsehole at the back.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change the bulb and two to stand around and argue about how Stewart could have done it better.

there is a bar with a bunch of drummers in it and they are all yelling "51 days, 51 days!" and more and more keep coming in, they are all ordering drinks and yelling "51 days! 51 days!" the bartender has a puzzled look on his face as more and more come into the bar and order more and more drinks and chant and chant. finally, the bartender asks one of the drummers why they are all celebrating and chanting"51 days! 51 days!" the drummer answers with, "well, we all just finished a puzzle in 51 days and the box said 2 to 4 years!"

"You want to hear an oxymoron? Musical drummer!"- Andy