STEWART COPELAND

Stewart Copeland doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Stewart Copeland once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Stewart Copeland won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal.

Stewart Copeland's hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush

Stewart Copeland ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,
there is no force equal in reaction to Stewart Copeland banging a drum.

Stewart Copeland CAN believe it's not butter.

Stewart Copeland makes even Chuck Norris shit his pants

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Stewart Copeland sleeps with a night light. Not because Stewart Copeland is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Stewart Copeland

The recent earthquake off the coast of California measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, or .024 Stewart Copelands.

Gandhi didnt fast, Stewart Copeland simply got drunk one night and ate all his food

A spike in Stewart Copeland stiff arms caused the tooth fairy to go broke in 1993.

Kurt Cobain once told a joke at Stewart Copeland's expense... well we all know what happened next.

Stewart Copeland told Steve Irwin not to mess with stingrays.

You don't hit Stewart Copeland, Stewart Copeland hits you!

SuperMan wears Stewart Copeland Pajamas.

Stewart Copeland counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Stewart Copeland

Stewart Copeland can touch MC Hammer.

At birth, Stewart Copeland came out arms first so he could stiff arm the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Stewart Copeland but Stewart Copeland.

Stewart Copeland frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his
own.

I do like this one: "SuperMan wears Stewart Copeland Pajamas."

Hey Mike, my favourite is
Stewart Copeland's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

[quote="kappa02"]
Stewart Copeland frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his
own.[/quote]

That's good.

you mean...Stewart Copeland versus Chuck Norris/Walker Texas Ranger???

My friend and I started one of these two years back... haha.

Stewart Copeland saved the manatees. Then he put them back on the endangered species list so they wouldnt get cocky.

Stewart Copeland invented the pedestal. Then he invented the stiff arm to have something to knock people off it.

Stewart Copeland built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot,
Copeland met all three bullets with his drummer hands, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Ewwww!

Gio, you and that Walker Texas Ranger show. Did I ever tell you I met the guy who wrote the theme song at a party last fall? He's a very wealthy man...

(My favorite is the nightlight one...is the reverse of all those 'your mama's so fat' jokes I find so hilarious...?

OK, just one, cause I can't resist: When your mama comes in the room, all the kids yell "hey KoolAid!"

this may not make any sense to the European fans, it has to do with a big fat cartoon character...)

Nice work, my friend!!
Laz

My girls are going to love these! They have been looking at their suburban dad kind of funny lately...

[quote="STEWART"]My girls are going to love these! They have been looking at their suburban dad kind of funny lately...[/quote]

The genius awakes...

Quick! Everyone do something and act smart! Dang, we're too late.

Good luck on the tour!!! Play "Invisible Sun"!!

The Colorado River did not shape the Grand Canyon, the Grand Canyon is a collection of divots from Stewart Copeland working on his polo game.

>you mean...Stewart Copeland versus Chuck Norris/Walker Texas Ranger???

What's even funnier, is that Gio likes Walker Texas Ranger.

Stewart Copeland laughs at SuperMan because he has a weakness

Stewart Copeland once destroyed a Starbucks because he thought that it was ridiculous for it to be across the street from another Starbucks.

Killing Stewart Copeland doesn't make him dead -- it just makes him angry

Stewart Copeland and Chuck Norris once squared off. The fight lasted for 4 years, then Copeland realized that he was actually in a fight. He immediately grabbed a drumstick & hit Chuck Norris' upside his head upon this realization. This event is referred to as the "Big Bang"

Stewart Copeland had a staring contest with a black hole and won.
While engaged in the staring contest, Stewart wrote 2 amazing songs called "Bombs Away" and "It's Alright For You" but never played them live because he might blink.

Never meddle in the affairs of Stewart Copeland, for you are crunchy and would sound good thwacked with a stick.