Tour Countdown!

[samburusunset]

[quote="DirtyMartini"]It's a tough thing to maneuver,
this getting out to Vancouver.
Expedition is moot with the clerks and the suits
lest you're stacked like J. Edgar Hoover.

The paperwork is inane.
I must be going insane
to run hither and thither in all kinds of weather
just to get my ass on a plane.

So I keep the goal clear in mind:
The Police -- holy crap -- playing live.
The bass and the drums, the chords and anthems,
And the fabulous sounds when combined.

So I nod and smile like a bootlick
And complain in the form of bad limericks.
Soon the web will be spun, and the frenzy begun:
Rimshot, hi-hat, and kick IN 26!!![/quote]

That's my Sister in Stewart. I couldn't be prouder!

Kel, you *really* ought to get all these together.

[georgygirl]

Just 27 more days...

[DirtyMartini]

Woke up to a blue pre-dawn
having had the strangest dream:
The Police were back together.
<*cover mouth, squelch girlie scream*>

In position at the Whiskey
on a tiny stage together,
Three Blonde Heads rocking instruments.
-- Well, not so much blonde per se, but rather

(Stewart, forgive me.)

The Young Blonde Polo Pony
had become The Old Grey Mare;
Andy still looked short;
Stingo'd lost much hair.

But claims that they "just ain't what they used to be"
would seem a big mistake:
Older? yes. Rusty? hell yes.
But this tweren't no seaside clambake.

The energy was palpable;
the audience looked high.
If all that grey hair scares you,
just look in Stewart's eyes.

He ain't kicking on some whiffletree
but on his chariot of fire.
Although conducted by Il Duce,
the drummer always gets to drive.

They were playful, sometimes messy;
Andy forgot a chord or two.
Sting forgot the lyrics.
They all bantered like they do.

(Or should I say "did"?
My verbs are all confused.)

But when they hit, the sound was wondrous,
an old flame relit anew.
Sure, the "rape and pillage" thing's hyperbole,
but for god's sake, look at Stew.

And think back to old file footage
or spend a moment on YouTube,
and heed that pounding tension
when Stew's got Stingo in the groove.

The Boys are all growed up.
This ain't 1982.
They can't be 28 again;
but neither can I or you.

But I'd bet that reports of their death
are greatly exaggerated;
we're all just kinda nuts with
thoughts of what can be anticipated.

I for one am quite excited
to see how things have changed.
But I seem to have lost my theme;
this ditty's frames have gone deranged.

So as I was saying . . .

When I woke, I had to catch my breath
and myself from falling on the floor.
It took a while to realize
the actuality of this tour.

After 20 years of "Don't dream. It's over,"
The dream suddenly comes alive.
Contrary bastards that they are,
The Police are LIVE IN 25!!!

[Divemistress of the Dark]

[quote]But when they hit, the sound was wondrous,
an old flame relit anew.
Sure, the "rape and pillage" thing's hyperbole,
but for god's sake, look at Stew.
[/quote]

These just keep getting better and better, DM.

I think I'm going to embroider that last one into a sampler.

(takes off hat
bows to master)

[DirtyMartini]

Heh heh. You're sweet, Dive.

[GinaSuperCat]

hahah, usually peeps run out of steam after a few...it seems like our DM has only just begun $$$

You go, "Sister of Copelandia!": official Bard of the Krypton Forum (tm) The formal ceremony where you will be knighted as Dame of Copeland Empire will take place shortly <courtly bow with flourishes>

[DirtyMartini]

Ha! I'm starting to get a bit desperate for content, so we'll see how long I can last.

Dame DirtyMartini, SoC, BKF, DCE. I like it.

[samburusunset]

"contrary bastards that they are"

Great one!

[mardee]

Indeed, as GSC, stated, Dame DirtyMartini seems to have only begun. Inspiration seems to almost spring anew each day for her. <golf clap>

[georgygirl]

How many days from now to the first gig?

Who knows?

[DirtyMartini]

Stewart, I need to ask a favor.
You know I mean no disrespect.
But The Gang is getting antsy,
starting to feel a bit shipwrecked.

Your words from out the Stingdom
were a burden off our minds
because as long as you're still talking,
we know everything's just fine.

But all this silence makes us nutso
so close to the starting gate.
The natives, they are restless;
the lions gnawing at their cage.

For Copelanders are a mighty lot
who try hard to avoid fanwankery,
but I fear we're on the verge
of requiring white straitjacketry.

We've already slammed Neil Peart;
I'm sure you've seen the stuff on Ringo
and round upon round upon round
over the influence of Stingo.

We've pored over hypotheticals
and analyzed your threads;
speculated on
every
single
bloody
word
that has come out of Andy's head.

Anticipation, impatience are inevitable,
as is the calm before the storm.
But did you see me say "kumbaya" the other day?!?
This is most definitely not the norm.

So if I might ask a tiny favor
as Official BS Bard of Krypton:
could you maybe rob a bank? or
ask Sting to get his tantric freak on?

Nothing major, something sprightly,
like a good old-fashioned orgy;
a little something to quell the silence
and relieve the Krypton Lurgy.

They say April showers bring May flowers
and all that other rot,
but we could use some harmless plunder or
perhaps a shoebox reel you forgot?

Anyway, my thanks for listening.
Now get off the computer, and go rehearse.
Send our love to Sting and Andy,
though we be proud and lowly serfs.

Just beware the deafening quiet
that creates Fan Influenza.
Don't be surprised when tube socks and short-shorts
pop back onto the agenda.

Plus, I'm running out of themes
for this countdown to explore,
so pity me -- your humble bard -- and
slam someone's fingers in a door.

Dress up Andy like a whore.
Take a frolic along the moors.
How about a spot on The Colbert Report?

No matter where or when or what for.
Just something new to toss about before
you HIT THE STAGE IN 24!!!

[GinaSuperCat]

[quote="DirtyMartini"]How about a spot on the Colbert Report? [quote]

HahahahHAhahahAhhahhahAHha<dies laughing>...

[samburusunset]

Kel

Brava!!!!

If this doesn't get a reply from The Big Man I don't know what will!!

SS

[conroy]

You guys are going to be so much to hang with in Vancouver. I can't wait!

[mardee]

[quote="DirtyMartini"]"Dress up Andy like a whore.
Take a frolic along the moors."[/quote]

*picking self up off the floor and searching for the remainder of my butt, seems to have gone missing* Oh the visuals, they start again...

Dame DM, you've outdone yourself again.