At the beginning I was experimenting with matched grip vs traditional grip. I found matched grip to be easier to handle and now I play both ways. Go with whatever feels right to you. Either method with cause some inevitable pain until those calluses build up!
My teacher handed me a copy of "Stick Control" and to this day has remained gospel for rudimentary instruction.
I started with a rental drum kit. It consisted of a kick drum, snare, one rack tom, a floor tom, a piece of crap hi-hat and some even crappier cymbals. It was all I needed to start with. Later on my set-up evolved into better quality drums and cymbals as available finances would allow. There is nothing wrong with used drum stuff if you know what you're looking for.
I think the most valuable lesson I learned was to count out loud as I was playing. Being able to play along with a click track or metronome is paramount to everything; particularly if you intend to be involved in studio projects and playing with a live band. Perfect meter is hard to achieve, even when you're playing some straight ahead four on the floor type beats. Practice, practice and then practice some more!
After years of exposure to on-stage monitor systems, amplifiers and such, I have consequently lost some of my hearing. Protect those ears at ALL costs.
I had a short and less than illustrious career as a drummer in an original band that wrote lots of songs, recorded some material and played all over the place for little or no money and sometimes just beer. Point being I had so much fun and although I never "made it" I wouldn't trade those years for anything. Chalk it up to life experience. If you're not having fun and getting frustrated, take a break and go back at it and give 'em hell. There are lots of drummers on this website that have some great advice so you're never alone. Best of luck, it's well worth it!
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My advise to reach your goals is to have FUN 
FUN 