OMG - I found it. Enjoy.
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The Chi of Cha
A long essay
on the most miniscule aspect of my favorite band's performance
By Marq (TPT member)
In a world where Yeah-Uh's and Bleep-Bleeps have saturated the music industry, one band's Eeaayo is once again resounding in arenas, stadiums and music halls across the globe. The Police have come back to Roxanne fans and new converts in a Pangalactic gargleblasting reunion tour that has already broken every ticket-selling record known to man, at least the men who run Live Nation and Ticketmaster.com. Or is it women? Live Nation France is run by Jacqueline Lombard, so let us say the tour has broken every ticket-selling record known to person for political correctness. No offense to women. Or men. Or hermaphrodites.
But despite all the bona fide hoo-ha about the 70's-80's punk-turned-reggae-well-not-really-actually-rock-sort-of group returning to the world stage for one (?) penultimate tour to settle a never officially announced break-up, deep within the bowels of the band's fan base, a small chorus of disenchantment has reared its little head. It's quite small. Almost like a miniskirt in the sixties, short and suggestive, but not quite revealing the goodies. Nevertheless it's significant in many ways. Some would even say profound. Massive. Humungous. But not as big as climate change or the Middle East peace process, mind you.
On June 21, 2007, at 02:22:06 AM on America's west coast, just under one month after the dynamic trio's Reunion Tour kicked off in Vancouver, a member of thepolicetour.com fanclub posted a small question on the site's community message board that would change the lives of many other members forever. Or at least until their next Police live gig. The designated poster by the name of Charliearnold posed the following seemingly harmless but poignant question:
"Is there even one single "CHA!" in the entire set?"
One of the first replies gave an inkling of the mammoth proportions this thread would take on. "You can't get more esoteric and inside-baseball than this. I think we all enjoyed the band's ideosyncratic flavor," said jerseyfan, and a few posts further scully9712 pondered even deeper by posing: "what the hell is a "cha" anyway, is it kind of like a "doo whop? I think i'll lose sleep over this one ...very philosophical question...what is the basis of the "cha" what does it do, what does it mean...what happens if we do not cha?? can we take a cha and give one as well (sort of like giving a s--t and taking one). I think I need to meditate over the cha."
Indeed, the whole issue warranted a serious soulsearching session accompanied by a hotly brewed cup of tea, steeping profoundly on the stove to attain full flavour. What was our personal affinity with CHA? Why do we miss it, and more importantly, why has Sting omitted it from the songs that received their powerful potency from this three-letter word? As it turned out, the answer to the first two questions were not all that easy to decode, not even with an Enigma, Deep Thought or the weird scroll thingy with letters on it as used in that ominously badly written novel by Dan Brown. The answer to the last one however lay in the mind of only one man to whom access was not within everyman's privilege.
The first sighting - or sounding - of the CHA came in 1979, on the band's second album Regatta de Blanc. Voices Inside My Head on The Police's third album Zenyatta Mondatta firmly positioned Cha among the eeyoo's and eyayo's so inextricably linked to the band's sound, and the follow up Ghost In The Machine had Too Much Information with not enough Cha's sealing the deal. Eeyo's and eyayo's may easily be considered as a simple yet effective conjuncture of vowels characterizing a pleasant configuration of the vocal tract without the build-up of air pressure above the glottis to create a resounding accompaniment of incremental chords, the charged, consonant top and vowel release of the CH-A attracts a much more endemic observation of its origins. Regatta's title track brought forth a chorus of syncopated exclamations of what appears to the human ear to be CHA! Although, The Police having ventured their Punk foundations into reggae fusions, it would be conceivable that the utterance could originally have encapsulated a religious calling. "The word is actually JAH, the Rastafarian reference for God," said sadandroid, adding that it "possibly arrived musically by Sting listening to the Beatles (at the end of Hello Goodbye...hella, ava hellooo um jah, um jah.... McCartney was also influenced by early reggae roots)" As the official lyrics never made a mention of Cha, there is no official documentation as to Sting's intended source of the chant, adding to its mysticism and growing cult status among fans.
The allusion to a kind of "life force" is nevertheless no far fetched. Cha could be a police-ism for ancient Asian concept of Chi, believed to be part of every living thing that exists, as a "spiritual energy" or "energy flow." Had the 4th century BCE Chinese philosopher Zhuang Zhou (also known as Master Zhuang) lived today and been one of The Police's most fervent fans, he may have indicated that cosmic Yin and Yang "are the greatest of Cha," describing Cha as "issuing forth" and creating profound effects.
The discussions founding cha-ther charliearnold argues that Cha is the yin to eeyo's yang, and therefore the Police are unbalanced without it. The contemporary TPT community philosophist arecev said that "the sound transcends the spelling and the meaning. It is neither. It is a feeling. Perhaps CHA is not the expression of just one feeling. Perhaps it is the culmination of several feelings: joy, angst, energy, sorrow."
As TPT member jerseyfan explained, Cha's versatility had no bounds. "Listen to the Synchronicity concert DVD. The first song- Synchronicity- ends with several Chas. But Chas can also start a song, or Sting can work them in at any moment. That's the beauty of the Cha." When the almost inconceivable reconciliation of the band became a fact at the beginning of 2007, fans went wild at the thought of hearing their favourite chants put back into their intended context of Sting on bass and vocals, Stewart Copeland on his illustrious drums and Andy Summers on guitar. But when the reunion tour finally kicked off in Vancouver at the end of May, all the eeyo's were in place, but no Cha was to be found anywhere. Hardcore Cha-ists were dismayed.
"Cha is one of the signature sounds of the Police," wrote Message board Police Chief plutonic. "A Police show is not complete without Cha. It's like doing the show without Andy." And so the quest was on to raise awareness about this discrepancy in what was otherwise a dream-come-true reunion, with message board members across the world rallying to bring back the Cha. Signatures were cha-enhanced, profile images were cha-ified and strategies were drawn up to get the CHA! going at upcoming concerts with the help of cha-leaders. The movement demonstrated the deep cha-sm left by the word's omission, and short of cha-stising their heroes, it became clear the revolu-cha-n would not stop until cha-stice was done.
Armed with white t-shirts emblazoned with large, bold letterings projecting CHA!, the movement of cha people made their way to stadiums and arenas, acquiring strategic seats at hefty prices close to the stage to get the man's attention to their strife. But apart from brave comrades as donnanj and plutonic getting their image onto the show's jumbo-trons, swaying sting's position on the omission has so far proven fruitless, giving rise to an ominous conspiracy theory.
Just moments after secretjourney1 posted a youtube clip (
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wmNeZLVnJGc) of The Police performing an extended version of Regatta de Blanc and Can't Stand Losing you recorded at Miami's Gusman Theatre in October 1979, in his failed attempt to prove that the CHA! was in fact a bastardized JAH!, a possible explanation for the missing CHA was thrown into the ring. "That clip was freaking amazing," said dinak of the raw, young energy displayed by the band. Having examined the clip, I chucked away the kebab I was devouring for dinner and drew an assiduous assumption. "Is that the same Sting on stage as the one in the reunion tour now? It's almost leading me to believe in a conspiracy theory similar to the Paul McCartney one, whereby the real Sting got killed in the Amazon by a school of Piranha, and the record company brought in this look-alike to take his place. Too far out, I know, but mind you, it would explain why the 'new' Sting has no affinity with CHA! whatsoever."
The gathered evidence, including the mystery of the missing mole below pre-Amazon Sting's lip, right side, led more people to concur that something was fishy. And sticky. The crusade to get the truth behind the Cha's disappearance temporarily sought to extract the answer from a case of exchanged personas. Freud and Jung would have has a field day, not to mention Gil Grissom. The plot thickened and became the basis for a screenplay about a rock-star's mid-jungle doppelganger switch at the hands of peroxide activists being uncovered by a female conservationist starring Sandra Bullock and Jude Law (copyright pending).
Another valid explanation may be that the passing of time, the ageing and wisening of Cha's creator has transcended the need for its utterance. The great Chinese philosopher Confucius may well have put his finger on the pulse when he said: "The [morally] noble man guards himself against three things. When he is young, his Cha has not yet stabilized, so he guards himself against sexual passion. When he reaches his prime, his Cha is not easily subdued, so he guards himself against combativeness. When he reaches old age, his Cha is already depleted, so he guards himself against acquisitiveness." Could Cha be sting's unwritten life story?
The fact remains that the longer the world tour continues without Cha, the more fans and auxillary family, friends and pets are jumping on the Cha bandwagon, eager to get the 55-year old bandleader's attention. This may already have happened, as plutonic's efforts at cha-miming the trio have resulted in an oblique reaction, even a possible single cha sneaked in by Andy Summers as an act of friendly provocation towards the frontman. It's all very well having a young generation reviving CHA in popular R'n'B music (Pussycat Dolls: Don't CHA wish ur girlfriend sang CHA! like me) but can a Police reunion tour ever be complete without them?
Will the true meaning of Cha ever be revealed? Will our heroes be able to bring on the night with a crowd-generated chorus of CHA? What is the real reason behind the missing Cha, and does it have anything to do with a grassy knoll in the Amazon? If the Cha does not return, will Sting at least answer the movement in a corresponding post, open letter, or even autobiographical book (Broken Cha)? Has writing this essay truly been a totally useless endeavor?
Perhaps it is best left to an avid cha-ist, plutonic, to make the plea, direct and to the point. "Mr. Sting, I humbly beseech you. You yelled "CHA!" repeatedly in my ear for the better part of a decade, in my formative teen years, so I'd really appreciate hearing just one, on Mic, from you the Papa of CHA! I've waited 23 years, paid a fortune in tickets and tickets. Why deny me, your humble ombudsman? I mean, come on, you got me to sing such inanity as your ode to Doo doo: De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da. A little CHA's not gonna hurt anybody."
Letting my raven tresses wave with nameless grace.